5 Essential Steps to Balancing a Day Job & Dream Business
Spoiler alert: You don’t have to burn out to make your dreams come true.
✨ TL;DR:
Learn how to mentally detach from your job so it doesn’t drain your energy.
Shift your identity: your job is what you do, not who you are.
Prioritize your best brainpower for the projects that light you up.
Protect your joy and hobbies—they’re essential for sustainable success.
The secret to starting? Take messy action. Don’t wait to be “ready.”
Reclaiming Your Energy: How to Emotionally Detach from a Draining Job
⏰ Read Time: 8 Minutes
You might feel like juggling someone else’s demands all day and only getting scraps of time and energy for your projects. That’s where a little mindset shift can be powerful.
This post is all about handling the mental weight of showing up for a job while holding space for your real dreams.
Let Me Tell You a Story...
So I’m one of those (slightly unhinged?) people who file their own taxes. Yeah, I know. Wild. But I actually kind of like bookkeeping, or at least I tolerate it because I’m trying to learn good business habits. Filing taxes is like a weird yearly milestone: “How much have I learned this time?”
Anyway, this year, I had a tax bill I wasn’t expecting due to a withholding error. Classic ADHD move... I didn’t check my pay stubs all year and didn’t start filing until April 8th because… well... time blindness.
I’m on with a TurboTax expert trying to sort it out, and during some downtime, we just started chatting. She saw my return and asked, “Wait—how do you DO all this?” Cue coaching session disguised as a tax support call.
Because, yes, I have multiple jobs. Yes, I run my own business. Yes, I also nanny. And somehow? I don’t hate my life.
The Question Everyone Asks Me: “How Do You Balance All That?”
I get it. I hear that question a lot. And from the outside, my life looks chaotic. ADHD Accountability Coach. Part-time accounts receivable baddie. Nanny. Sometimes tutor. Multi-passionate queen.
People’s faces twist up like they’re trying to do calculus in their heads when I explain my week. But the truth is... I’ve never felt more balanced.
What People Are Really Asking: “How Do You Handle It Mentally?”
Because time-wise? Yeah, I’m busy. But I’ve been busy. The difference now is that I’m not wasting my best energy on things I don’t care about.
My part-time job? It pays the bills. That’s it. I don’t think about it when I’m not there. It doesn’t have emotional weight.
Being a nanny? I adore those kids. But it feels like cheating the system because I only work with families I vibe with, and the job is literally playing and snuggling. It fills my cup.
So, where will all my strategic energy and creativity go? Yep. My business. My real dream. And that’s why it works.
And that’s the point of this post. It’s not about managing your calendar (though, I do love me some ClickUp & Sunsama). It’s about handling the mental load of balancing a job while building your dream. How to emotionally detach from the day job, protect your energy, and save your best brain for you.
Let’s break this down:
Part 1: Your Day Job Is Not Your Identity
One of the best nuggets of career advice I ever got was from a random person on TikTok. (Honestly, the internet is the best life coach sometimes.)
She said:
“Start thinking of yourself as a consultant at your day job. You’re not married to the mission. You’re here to help. You’re bringing your skills, doing your job, and when the project is done, you move on.”
That. Changed. Everything.
Most of us, especially high-achievers or people-pleasers, have been conditioned to tie our worth to our job performance (Thanks, Capitalism). And when your dream job isn’t paying the bills yet, it’s easy to feel stuck or like you’re failing.
But your day job? It’s just a gig. It’s a means to an end. You don’t owe it your soul.
⚠️ Pro tip: Detaching your identity from your job makes it easier to leave without guilt when the time comes.
Part 2: Save Your Best Brain for Your Dreams
This is the secret sauce, especially for ADHD brains:
You only have so much focused energy each day. Guard it like the magic it is.
🧠 Track your energy.
Notice when your brain is most alert, focused, and creative. Is it 9–11 a.m.? Late at night? Does everything past 2 p.m. feel like a slump?
⏰ Match your day job to your low-focus hours if possible.
If your job is flexible, schedule it during your natural “meh” hours. That way, you’re using outside accountability (and a paycheck!) to stay productive when you otherwise wouldn’t be.
💡 Your brain doesn’t need to be “on” 100% of the time.
Especially for ADHDers, we often feel guilty when we’re not hyperproductive. But most people are only truly focused for 3–5 hours daily. You’re likely way more efficient than the average worker.
If you can give about 60% focus to your job (while meeting reasonable expectations), you’ve evened the playing field.
Part 3: Learn to Emotionally Detach From Work That Doesn’t Light You Up
Here’s the thing: I’m better at my part-time finance job now that I don’t care about it. That’s not to say I don’t do it well; I’m excellent (which sounds arrogant, but I get positive feedback OFTEN).
The mental shift? It’s just work. I don’t let it weigh on my nervous system like I used to.
And if you’re like me and work multiple part-time jobs to piece together income while building your business, it can feel heavy. But when you let go of the emotional labor? It’s freeing.
And that’s how I stay mentally balanced.
Part 4: Make Joy a Non-Negotiable
If you’re burning the candle at both ends - job, business, and family - it’s easy to let your hobbies, friends, and fun slide.
Don’t.
This is not hustle culture advice. This is survival advice, especially for the neurodivergent girlies.
I literally have a spot on my daily self-care tracker for “hobby time.” It matters. When you’re building a new life, your whole personality can’t just become self-improvement. You’ll burn out fast.
If your side hustle is your dream, that doesn’t mean it should replace all the joy in your life. Not everything needs to be monetized or optimized.
Keep your hobbies. Put fun things on your calendar. Schedule movie nights, watercolor sessions, or whatever makes you feel like a human. Hell, go to a trampoline park if that’s your thing!
🌱 Your joy matters. And the more joy you let in, the more sustainable your work will feel.
Part 5: Stop Waiting to Be Ready
So many people ask me: “How do I start my side hustle when I’m always working and tired?”
You don’t wait to feel ready. You just begin. You start small. You take messy, beautiful action.
That tax lady? She told me she had dreams, too. She wanted to see the world and teach others about financial literacy, but she was waiting for more time, energy, and clarity.
I told her the truth:
That moment doesn’t magically arrive.
You create clarity by taking action. You find energy by doing something that excites you. And you make time by gently stealing it back from things that don’t matter.
Perfectionism and procrastination are best friends. So start small. Even a one-hour-a-week ritual can create the momentum to reach your goals.
You’re Not Crazy for Wanting More
If you’re reading this and wondering why you can’t just be satisfied with a job like “everyone else seems to be,” Let me tell you:
You’re not broken. You’re ambitious. You’re someone who dares to dream, even if it means balancing a job you tolerate while you build a life you love.
That’s brave as hell.
So don’t let its weight crush you. Let it sharpen your focus, fuel your boundaries, and remind you that your time and energy are sacred.
And when you get tired, rest. Because the point of this journey isn’t to be endlessly productive. It’s to live a life that feels like yours.
TL;DR Lessons from the Tax Lady and Me:
🌈 Your job is not your identity. You're just there to help.
🌈 Your best brain belongs to you.
🌈 You don’t need to give 100% to be effective.
🌈 Make time for joy or you’ll burn out.
🌈 Start messy. Start small. Just start.
🌟 Want Help Creating a Plan to Make it Happen?
This is exactly the kind of thing I help clients with during a Momentum Mapping Call, a low-pressure, high-impact session where we turn your scattered ideas into an actual, ADHD-friendly plan. You’ll walk away with clear next steps and more confidence than you came in with.
